Ever feeling like you just need to get your thoughts out there, but afraid of what people will think of your thoughts? Sounds funny doesn't it, but so many times that's how I feel! I am fighting those feelings today and just putting myself out there. I desire honesty and genuineness in others, so I should practice that myself, right??
Lately I have been really struggling with being content...not just being content, but truly loving the season of life that God has me in right now. Life with Eliyah has been a huge adjustment. Life is not my own (I guess it never really was...I just thought it was). Most days my "to-do" list grows rather than shrinks. My home is never quite as neat and clean as I'd like it to be.
Are you a people watcher?? I am! There is nothing inherently wrong with people-watching, but sometimes it really causes me to struggle. So many times it seems that every has it all or at least has it all together. I find it hard to even get a shower before 3:00 in the afternoon most days! I am really tired of school...I just want to be finished. I am also really tired of the restriction I feel because of our tight finances. Living on one income isn't easy, but we know that God wants me home with Eliyah, so we are doing it...it can just be frustrating sometimes. I told Mike last night that I wish we could just be free from money...whether it be the lack of it or the abundance of it...I wish it didn't bind us like it does many times. I guess it can only keep us in bondage as much as we let it--there's another confession for today! I worry too much about finances and I allow them to rule over me many times. AHH! As I type this, my simple confession of discontentment seems to be growing!
So here's the bottom line--I'm a sinner! I don't have it all together (thats for sure). I need God's grace in my life every day!
I hope to encourage you by my honesty.
I am so thankful for the time I've had alone this morning to write, think, and process! That amazing man of mine is at home with Eliyah while I took some time to go out for coffee--alone! It was definitely what I needed! Now, off to finish the rest of my day and love on my family a little bit!
Oh, and its day 3 of the 31 Days to Clean Challenge and I'm loving it! <--that's just an extra tid-bit!
Have a Happy Wednesday!