There has been a lot of "things" going on lately, as well as "things" (better known as thoughts) running through my head. Honestly, I would love to share everything with you, but I'm not certain that I have the time or the words to put all my thoughts/feelings out there. Here's a few words to summarize.
Life
It just kind of happens.
Its hard.
Its fun.
It is full of change.
Expectations
They are there
(whether you want them or not)
You have them of others.
Others have them of you.
They kill your joy.
(so says Mrs. Voskamp...and I agree)
Contentment
Elusive.
How do you find it?
When you do...how do you keep it?
It's more than saying what I have is enough...
it's that Christ is all I need.
Wow.
Comparison
Another joy-thief.
Road block to genuine relationship.
No help in the contentment realm.
Life...
back to this one again.
How does one live life fully? Live life with purpose? Find purpose in the life God has called them to?
How do I, a wife and mothers of two tiny babes, find fulfillment in this life? When days are filled with frustrations and sacrifice of self? When yet another long night blooms into a long day?
In all of it--the mess of life-- how do I love and cherish the times I have with my little ones while they are little?
Honestly, I know it is impossible to fully cherish and savor every single moment. The frustrations will come. The long nights and long days will be many. The lonely days will be there. The question remains, "What will I do with those days?"
Resent them?
Compare them with the days of others?
Others who are "free" (single, no children, no commitments, etc)?
Others who "have it all together" (yeah, right)?
Others who seem to be living life purposefully while I'm struggling to keep clean clothes for my family and barely putting something to eat on the table...let alone doing something that "matters"?
Others whose homes are put together and I'm still partially in boxes and definitely not decorated after our 7th move...when there is another looming in the fairly near future?
Others who have time to pursue hobbies and interests and I hardly have time to pursue the man I love let alone anything of my own?
Other
s who are deep in relationship while I'm home all day with two tiny ones?
All of this just to say that I am learning.
I am learning to be full of Jesus so that I am lacking nothing.
I am learning to be thankful for the hard, lonely days when all I want is some peace and quiet and all I'm getting is a crying baby and a disobedient toddler.
I am learning.
My Father has been so gracious as to put articles in my path to encourage me in this season. Even in the wee hours of the morning when its just me and Baby G-Man (he's nursing...I'm reading). Through the thoughts of other ladies, I am learning. I am seeing that I'm not alone. I am recognizing who I am and what my needs truly are. I am growing.
This blog has taken many different turns and held articles on many different topics, but from now on I feel like I just want to use this space to focus on my life...the good days and the not-so-wonderful days. The easy-breezey seasons and the long waiting seasons.
Just Life.
Real. True. Life.
Don't worry...it won't all be preachy, but I just feel as though I will see life through a different lens if I am writing about mine regularly. Maybe it will help me to see the blessings of it when I tend to focus too heavily on the hard parts.
Thanks for reading--and stay tuned. Things are just starting to get fun! :)
Here are some links that have been challenging and encouraging to me lately.
Enjoy!
There are others on my Pinterest board...click over to take a look.
Yes. You are not alone. I haven't blogged in ages. It's just hard to keep up! Hang in there, mama.
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